NEW YORK (TheStreet) -- Q: I was assigned to lead an extremely innovative, exciting project. Unfortunately my co-lead is a controlling nightmare. For every concept I present, it seems like he has a comeback for why it won't work! I've seriously thought about approaching our joint supervisor, yet the idea of tattling is so repulsive. Should I still ask my supervisor for assistance? Or should I try and work it out myself?
A: It is in your best interest to complete this collaborative project without assistance from your supervisor. You have been given a great career opportunity. Take advantage of it; your success will signal to management your readiness to take on more leadership responsibilities.
It is not a question of tattling, because you are not in second grade. You must have the patience to manage a combative personality, by utilizing your own strengths to change the dynamics of the relationship.
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Here are the tips: Don't waste time arguing. He most likely lives for that, and will not be convinced he's wrong. Instead simply state your position based on evidence. Establish your ground and set limits. If you disagree with his opinion, respectfully state the reason why, again based on evidence. This may have to be repeated several times, because he may suffer from selective attention! A common characteristic of the overly controlling. Kill him with kindness. How we speak matters, just as much as what we say. Deliver and receive point of views in a respectful fashion, with sensitivity and compassion. It is hard to pick a fight with that! It's a challenge, but I have a feeling you're up to it. Let me know how the project turns out. As always, questions and comments can be sent to ASK NOAH at nskass@gmail.com. Have a profitable and peaceful week, Noah
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